Saturday, July 31, 2004

Lunatics and Warewolves Congregate! It's a Blue Moon Tonight!!! :-D

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A blue moon is the second full moon in a month. Since full moons occur once in 29 days, having 2 in the same month is a rare occurance. A July blue moon is even rarer, considering these only occur in Jan, Feb or March.



Me being a Cancerian, I wonder wonder if it has any implication in my life! Wonder if this would be the moment I finally become a warewolf! Muhahahaha!



Damn! This blog is so mundane!

Thursday, July 29, 2004

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So, so you think you can tell

Heaven from Hell,

Blue skys from pain.

Can you tell a green field

From a cold steel rail?

A smile from a veil?

Do you think you can tell?



And did they get you to trade

Your heros for ghosts?

Hot ashes for trees?

Hot air for a cool breeze?

Cold comfort for change?

And did you exchange

A walk on part in the war

For a lead role in a cage?



How I wish, how I wish you were here.

We're just two lost souls

Swimming in a fish bowl,

Year after year,

Running over the same old ground.

What have we found?

The same old fears.

Wish you were here.

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Remembering 1997

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Thought I'd turned on the TV found a portal in time to a painful past. The past, in which existed, a heartless, cold, bloodthirsty murderer. A murderer, at whose sight, bowlers requested to change into dark-brown coloured pants. Bowlers, some of whom never could set foot in cricket again after meeting this bloodthirsty murderer.



Memories of yesteryears came flooding by when the same murderer smelt blood all over again. It took me back to a time when the murderer had me pulling my hair out in frustration. And had the Indian bowlers praying for their mommies and made them carry a set of Pampers for every Indo-Lanka game. God! We hated the sight of him as kids!



Somehow, this time, it was much easier to appreciate the skill of the man. And to see the beauty with which he weilded his weapon around and mechanically butchered his enemy. Sanath Jayasuriya... take a bow. That was awesome! You rode on your luck, alright. But you made plenty of it on your own too.



Unfortunately for you, it's not the same set of Indian bowlers anymore whom you whooped left, right and center in the late 90s.



You could have saved this best for the finals though. Now Asia is ours for the taking!



What an un-****ing-believable win!

Monday, July 26, 2004

So what?

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So what if they only quoted a piddly little line from a 1000 word letter! SO WHAT? :-D



I am on Cricinfo!! Woohoo!



Click Here and do a Ctrl+F for 'Hemant'.

Sunday, July 25, 2004

Jackass

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(Got this from Aishwarya)



Jackass



In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, "Hello?"



I politely said, "This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?" Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn't believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin's correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung up with Robin, I spotted the wrong number still

laying on my desk. I decided to call it again. When the same person once more answered, I yelled, "You're a jackass!" and hung up. Next to his phone number I wrote the word "jackass" and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up. He would answer and I'd yell, "You're a jackass!" It always cheered me up.



Later in the year the phone company introduced caller ID. This was a real disappointment for me. I would have to stop calling the jackass. Then one day I had an idea. I dialed his number and heard his voice. "Hello?" I made up a name. "Hi. This is the sales office of the telephone ompany and I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with our new caller ID program." He answered, "No!" and slammed down the receiver. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because

you're a jackass!"



The reason I'm taking the time to tell you this story is to show you how if there's ever anything bothering you, you can do something about it. Just dial 555-1212.

(Keep reading, it gets better.)

One day an old lady at the mall was really taking her time pulling out of her parking space. I didn't think she was ever going to leave. Finally, her car began to move ever so slowly and she began backing out. I backed up a little more to give her

plenty of room. Great, I thought, she's finally leaving. All of a sudden this black Camero came flying up the parking aisle in the wrong direction and pulled into her space. I started honking my horn and yelling, "You can't do that, buddy! I was here

first!"



The guy got out of his Camero completely ignoring me. He walked toward the mall as if he didn't even hear me. I thought to myself, this guy is a jackass. There sure are a lot of jackasses in this world. I noticed he had a "For Sale" sign in the back

window of his car. I wrote down the number. Then I hunted for another place to park.

The next day I was at home sitting at my desk. I had just gotten off the phone after calling 555-1212 and yelling, "You're a jackass!" (It's really easy to call him now since I have his number on speed dial.) Then I noticed the phone number of the

guy with the black Camaro and decided to call him too. After a couple of rings someone answered the phone. I asked, "Are you the man with the black Camaro for sale?"

"Yes."

"Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car is parked right out front."

I asked, "What's your name?"

"My name is Don Hansen."

"When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

"I'm home in the evenings."

"Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"Don, you're a jackass!" And I slammed the phone down.

After I hung up I added Don's number to my speed dialer. Now I had two jackasses to call whenever I had a bad day. However this wasn't as much fun as it used to be. So I thought about it and came up with a solution. First, I had my phone dial jackass #1. The man answered nicely and I yelled, "You're a jackass!" But I didn't hang up.

The jackass said, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah."

He said, "Stop calling me."

I said, "No!"

He said, "What's your name, pal?"

I said, "Don Hansen."

He said, "Where do you live?"

"1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and my black Camaro is parked out front."

"I'm coming over right now, Don. You'd better start saying your prayers."

"Yeah, like I'm really scared, Jackass!" And I hung up.

Then I called Jackass #2. He answered, "Hello."

I said, "Hello, jackass!"

He said, "If I ever find out who you are..."

"You'll what?"

"I'll kick your butt."

"Well, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now, jackass!"

And I hung up. Then I picked up the phone and called the police.

I told them I was at 1802 West 34th Street and that I was going to kill my gay lover as soon as he got home. Another quick call to Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street. After that I climbed into my car and headed over to 34th Street to watch the whole thing. Glorious! I watched two jackasses kicking the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars and a police helicopter I also taped it off the evening news!

Saturday, July 24, 2004

Please, Please, Please, Please Be Mine!

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As I stand here today with the world as my witness,

I pledge to you my undying and everlasting love.

I will stand beside you as your partner,

I will stand before you as your protector,

And I will stand behind you as your solace.

Please spend and end your life with me.



- Earl -



Through all eternity to thee

A joyful song I'll raise,

For oh! Eternity is too short

To utter all thy praise.



- Joseph Addison -



My love is like a song

That goes on and on forever

My love is like a prisoner

It's to you that I surrender.



-Tasha Shores-

Friday, July 23, 2004

Random Stuff

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A (very, very) rare Bill Waterson interview. The only that I have ever read.



And this... a fitting ode to a strip which has gone to the pot.



That might be the first time the links on this page don't open in a new window! :P



Edit @ 8.30 PM: And if you're as bored as I am... you might wanna read this too! Hehe!



Edit @ 9.30 PM - The Bill Waterson Interview: Arvind asked for a sypnosis of the interview coz apparently the page was too stuffy to read.



Well, Bill talks about his initial financial struggles, the birth of Calvin & Hobbes, and also his earlier days as a drag queen in a gay joint.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Screw You, Blogger!!!

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What is wrong with this Godforsaken blog?! The template gets deleted on its own! The posts don't get published on time! Template changes do not become visible for days.



Desperate times call for desperate measures!



This time I will do it the old fashioned way!



The power of Christ compels you!

The power of Christ compels you!

The power of Christ compels you!

The power of Christ compels you!

The power of Christ compels you!

The power of Christ compels you!







Did it work? Please lemme know.

Saturday, July 17, 2004

Woohoo! I saw the Qutub! :D

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If there's something that you have been seeing for years and years in textbooks, photos and on TV, and if it were to suddenly resurrect in front you - just like that, in an instant - it really can take your breath away.



I was wandering around the streets of Delhi, when out of nowhere, I thought I saw the Qutub. Couldn't take my eyes off it for a moment.



The very next moment, it occurred to me that I should throw away that damn road-map. I was on my way to JNU when I got lost.

 

YET AGAIN!!

 

Late Evening Edit: 'Hemant's Law # 37' : The minute your vehicle breaks mid-journey must necessarily coincide with the minute the heaviest downpour of the season starts.

Friday, July 16, 2004

Hihihihihi!

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Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye?

 

Birla Cement

 

Kyu?

 

Kyunki iss cement mei jaan hai.

Thursday, July 15, 2004

My (back-breaking) ride into town!

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Here's the correct way to travel from Vasundhara Enclave to JNU:







And here's what I ended up doing!



Damn! That was good fun! ;-)

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Row, row, row the boat, gently down the stream...!

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"Throw, throw, throw the ball, gently down the seam

Murali, Murali, Murali, Murali, chucks it like a dream

Bowl, bowl, bowl the ball, gently through the air

Murali, Murali, Murali, Murali, here comes Darrell Hair ... No Ball!"

- The Barmy Army serenade Muttiah Muralitharan

Rip Off!

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For a rookie, commuting in a big city like Delhi ain't easy. The bus routes are hard to fathom, especially with all these buses being of more colours than there are on a rainbow. Drive a two-wheeler without a helmet ad you might just have hell to pay.



There are too many rules to follow. And coming from a city with a much poorer traffic sense, you need time to get acquainted to all these rules and regs. And the rickshaw drivers? They are ready to rip you off faster than you can say 'rip'.



On one particular occassion, I got stuck at Ajmeri Gate, some 50 minutes away from home. Wanted to hire a rick, but the driver was charging me the moon. 15 minutes of bargaining with no other options in sight, I decided to go for it, fully knowing I was paying a bit too much.



Then the fun part. I had to go to Vasundhara Enclave and I was still very confused about the roads leading to home. Since I was being slightly overcharged anyway, I decided to have a bit of fun. Instead of turning left for Vasundhara, I let the driver drive straight into Noida. Then Greater Noida. Then a bit more further till we got completely lost.



Then, we got back into Sector 18. Then to Sector 8. Then to Sector 6. A lot more twisting and turning followed during the while I pretended I did not know the way to home. In that nice round trip of Noida, I had the chance to enjoy the scenery! Hehehe!



I dont know who's worse - the driver, for overcharging me, or me, for making him drive around a good 10-12 KMs extra and letting me have a good look at the roads!

Monday, July 12, 2004

Quote Unquote

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"Why's that guy leaving? He can't just go - is he fed up with it?"



The former Wimbledon champion, Venus Williams, shows her bemusement as she watches a wicket fall during a club match in Richmond.



Late night edit: Google Bombing For Nincompoops. Makes interesting reading! Gotta try it out someday! Damn, I'm so bored!



Google for some of these using the I'm Feeling Lucky button:

1) French military victories

2) Weapons of mass destruction

3) Miserable failure

best of all, for

4) Slimes of India



Nice chatting with you, Harneet! ;-)

Sunday, July 11, 2004

Happy Hemant Jayanti! :-P

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Shishir 'Taaeer' Shah... writes for me on my birthday...



Aaj k din ko main kaise bhul sakta hu?

Jis din dharti pe tu aa tapka

Ji rahe the uncle aunty aaram se

Diya tune dhire se unhe zor ka jhataka



Roya nahi tha tu tab bhi

To doctor ke hatho ulta latka

Fir bhi bevakuf ko rona nahi aaya

To doctor ne usko sar ke bal patka



Shayad tab to roya hi hoga

Hatho pe kisi ko bhigoya hi hoga

Par ab to tu vayask ban chuka hai

Ladkiyo se bhi lafde kar chuka hai



Itne saare interview de dale tune

Ki interviewer bhi tujse dar chuka hai

Kabhi professors ke dimag jalata

Kabhi baithe baithe khud hi bujh jata



Na jane kaun se vakt tu bana hai

Ke 21 ki umra me bhi bachpana hai

Ek aur mauka khuda ne diya tuje

Aaj ke din 22 ka kardiya tuje



To main kya kahunga unth ke gardan tujhe

Tera hai janmadin...

Mubarak tuje.



Taeer

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Sighhhhh...!

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It has been an awefully long time, don't you think?



I can hardly wait.

Sunday, July 04, 2004

Pondering...

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What is it like to break down and cry unconsolably? Does it really cleanse your soul and lighten your heart? Or does it make things worse? I'm afraid, one of these days I will know.

Saturday, July 03, 2004

Just one question...

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I'm so happy because today

I've found my friends

They're in my head



I'm so ugly but that's okay

Cause so are you

We've broken our mirrors



Sunday morning is everyday for

All I care

And I'm not scared



Light my candles in a daze...

Cause I've found god



Hey hey hey



I'm so lonely but that's okay

I shaved my head...

And I'm not sad



And just maybe I'm to blame

For all I've heard

But I'm not sure



I'm so excited, I can't wait

To meet you there

But I don't care



I'm so horny but

That's okay

My will is good



Hey, hey, hey



I like it - I'm not gonna crack

I miss you - I'm not gonna crack

I love you - I'm not gonna crack

I kill you - I'm not gonna crack



That just about sums it all up. Couldn't find any any need to actually sit down and write about stuff! Just one question though. Why did he call it 'Lithium'?



I got myself a radio station on LaunchCast. The link is posted under Misc on the right side. Tune in sometime to listen to what allegedly is my kinda music! ;-) If you no like, hit the skip button to listen to the next track!