Thursday, August 26, 2004

OUTTA MY WAY, SLOWPOKES!

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All you tiny 100 CC drivers... make way for my 125 CC, 10-horse juggernaut!



Ab kaun rokega meri muskaan? Muhahaha!



5 females asking for lift on the first 2 days itself doesn't hurt my ego either! Muhahaha!


Most men would talk of bikes in the same breath as they would, of women. Then there are men who'd rather worship their Harleys, Triumphs and Yamahas than attend to their women. For some, their bikes are an extension of their entities. The man and the machine are one. In soul and in physicality.



Therefore, for man to value his machine so much, the machine must surely be referred to as 'she'. Pulsar's a great bike, no doubt. But "Definitely Male" ? Pah! How gay!!!



I tell you people... my bike's a 'she'. And it stays that way!

Wednesday, August 25, 2004

Memories of the Khaandaani Khataaraa

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It was in December 2001, that Dad finally decided to bring home our first car. And it was a moment of great rejoice, especially for me. For a change, I could leave risqu� one-liners and vulgar cartoons on the grime on my own Maruti. Secondly, shuttling between college, computer classes and home would be so much easier. Not because I could be driven around in an air-conditioned car, but coz Dad would finally leave that old scooter of his alone. No more buses for me!



So I took the scooter away. And it?s a mixed feeling to inherit something that most museums would love to take away from you. On one hand, you no longer have to travel on those Godforsaken AMTS buses. You don?t have to frantically search for 2-rupee coins for bus fare early in the morning. You don?t have to wait 30 minutes at the bus stop for 5-minute journeys. You don?t have to curse your luck while your classmates zoom by on their bikes, as you stand at the bus stop in the scorching Ahmedabad sun. On the other hand, you?re still driving an authentic piece of automobile memorabilia that might give up on you anytime, any day.



I took what was mine. And I love saying this: I was offered a bike by Dad 2 years back. I turned him down. I chose to drive around the family heirloom instead. I?m glad I did. Why should something as expensive as your first vehicle come so easily to you? Dad himself worked his rear end off before he could graduate from a cycle to a Moped in the 70s. Better things followed for him. I wanted to follow that example. Even it?s impractical to the point of being stupid. Principles, yunnoh. Some people just do not get it. Bah! Go ask your rich dads to buy everything for you. And then wonder why the rest of them have to wear Nyki and Reabook.



So I stuck to Chetak for over 2 years. It wouldn?t go over 50 for the life of me. Would give a mileage of 45 once in a blue moon. Would give up on me on rainy mornings. The faulty shock absorbers got my arm in a sling once. The dysfunctional brakes almost got me killed in another case.



Jokes were cracked about the scooter?s size, considering my 6?2 frame. Jokes were cracked about its age, looks and speed, among others. Jokes upon jokes followed. I forgive those humans. Had there been any conviction in what they said, I might have taken them seriously too. They tried their hardest to get me into buying a bike. Some morons also tried telling me how their Scooties and Kinetics were better. Pah! I wouldn?t even spit on your tiny little Leo Mattel scooterettes, you uninformed, ignorant fools!!! If I gave a duck about what you said, then it just wouldn?t be me! Go back and live your comfortable little self-centred, petty lives!!! Like a Bajaj ad once said? ?You will get there faster. But I will get there stronger?.



Six years on AMTS buses. Two years on Chetak. Commuting therefore has never been fun. But, for the moment it will be easier. Better things have followed. It?s time to say goodbye to trustee assistant Chetak after exactly a decade.



Rust in peace, my dear friend.



Gimme that strange relationship

Never felt pleasure and pain like this

Something so right but it feels so terribly wrong

I keep holding on

Gimme that strange relationship

One of us gotta let go of this

I keep pushing and you keep holding on

I'm already gone



Edit at 4: And here?s a pic you?d probably never get to see again, for as long as you live. Have a good laugh! ;-)

Monday, August 23, 2004

Survival for the fittest

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On the bustling roads of Delhi, I come alive like an insecure zebra that trespassed into the lion country. The rule of the jungle applies on the roads. Survival is the privilege of the fittest. The meek shall always struggle to see what tomorrow brings.



And I, a meek scooterist, have to co-exist (with just a helmet as my line of defence) with those merciless, gigantic monsters that are the DTC buses.



The jungle puts your skills to the toughest test. It's been a month of driving in and out of Delhi. And I took some time out to thank my Gods and Goddesses (Ms. P. Chopra included) and appreciate the fact that the zebra has survived in the lion country. It is heartening indeed to note that some angry, semi-drunk Haryanvi driving those buses has not run me over already.



I pat myself on the back too. I must be exceptionally good a driver to survive those DTC buses! ;-) We shall live to see another day!

Friday, August 20, 2004

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Looking back it some things, I see that it was better to have rocked the boat and feel awkward about it later than to not have rocked the boat at all.



"Until they become conscious they will never rebel, and until after they have rebelled they cannot become conscious"



- George Orwell, "1984"

Thursday, August 19, 2004

This and That

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Kobain Cobain was right. It's better to burn out than to fade away.

Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Arvind approves of this post. Kill him too! :))

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Arvind: ok cool

Arvind: anyways...so wat u upto/

Me: hey man

Me: the funniest thing happened

Arvind: wat wat wat?

Me: i went into the loo to take a crap

Me: and when i sat on the commode

Me: it broke down and fell sideways

Me:

Arvind:

Arvind: damn...boy..wat have u been eatin?

Me: but i hadnt even started

Arvind:

Arvind: damn

Me: its like... i sat... and it got thrown of its fittings

Me: with broken pipelines and everything

Arvind: ok did u like crap on ur pants out of fear or sumthin?

Me: i almost did

Arvind:

Arvind: cheee cheee cheeee

Arvind:

Me: alright... i just went to fix it

Me: and it turns out that...

Me: the flush is broken too

Me: which means... if i press flush... the water falls down on the floor

Arvind:

Arvind:

Arvind:

Monday, August 16, 2004

This and That

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There's something absolutely hilarious. About 3 guys, all of them extremely hungry, riding on a khatara scooter through the endless, uninhabited jungles of JNU, desperately trying to find their way to the nearest canteen.



Add to that, a lovely windy and overcast afternoon, the fact that you have completely lost your way in those jungles and are begining to enjoy the greenery, and that one of the guys is carrying a radio in hand, playing some of Rafi's best.



Aaah! That would be one nice way of remembering this new found life.


Acting's overrated! I have officially debuted as an actor (a lousy one at that). I played a reporter who got whooped by a corrupt hawaldar. The experience was fun and I received some very positive feedback. And it was quite, quite liberating because of all the screaming and shouting I got to do. I suspect it was more fun for 'A' coz he got to throw me off the stage for everytime we rehearsed.



Theatre was one thing I wanted to dabble around with. The opportunities were not there in college. It's great to make a start. Let's see where this goes to.

Sunday, August 15, 2004

Friday, August 13, 2004

The day that was...

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'D' is a rather quite chap from Mizoram, with spikey hair, a goatie and thick black glasses. He finds his corner in the class everyday. Doesn't talk all that much. Doodles a lot on the margins of his notebook. Never raised his hand to ask questions during class nor did he ever have any doubts clarified during the lectures. That was 'D' for the first two weeks at IIMC.



One fine morning, 'S' decides to bring his Givson to college to practise for the upcoming college culturals. And 'D' decides to safekeep the instrument with him for the recess. And by the time, the recess ended, hell had already broken loose on our class.



'D' was playing his way to glory. Def Lepard's 'Two Steps Behind'. Followed by 'Papa kehte hai'. Followed by some Bryan Adams tunes. Then some Lucky Ali chords. He was strumming like a God.



Auditions for the cultural events followed. And when he went on the stage to do his version of 'Better Man', the crowd had gone insane! Here's a guy who looked like he wouldn't open his mouth even his life depended on it. And now he has women standing up and appluading him. And sticking to him like white on rice!!!



IIMC has a new hero. And Hil's words from a couple of years back rang in my head. "To drive women insane, just hold a guitar outside your college and pretend you know how to play!!"



Damn! I *so* should have learnt to play a guitar too.



Anyway... 'D' taught me the D, G and A chords. He promises to teach me more. Time to get my hands on a guitar. Some investment advices, anyone?



Edit: 14.8.2004: 12.22 PM:. I suspect this is The Lean Dude's other blog. Hyuk hyuk!

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Monday, August 09, 2004

This and That

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Sometimes, I dearly wish life had an 'Undo' button.



Now this foot is stuck too far up my mouth.

Wednesday, August 04, 2004

Peaceful, easy feeling

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Standing outside the college stores, hungrily chomping away on a pack of Kurkure after an orientation lecture, I scanned the scenery around me. My eyes went upto the main entrance of the college. The sign said, 'Indian Institute of Mass Communication'. And a strange sense of calmness and satisfaction came over me. The kind that I had never, ever experienced before. The wait had been long and painful. But it's awesome to be here. Beyond awesome. Pardon me if I'm overdoing it. But my euphoria is hard to contain at the moment.



The first week at IIMC saw orientation lectures to give students a little background on what we are up against for the next one year. We've had several sessions over socio-economic issues, our polity, media in general, reservations etc. My favourite ones were taken by GVG Krishnamoorthy (former EC), Saikat Dutta (sub-editor, IE, now moving to Outlook) and Col. Dhavan (who had some awesome stories about the war in 71).



And there were some sessions during which I fell asleep too. There have been instances in school and college when I felt REALLY tired and sleepy in class. But never have I actually fallen asleep in class before. Oh well... there's always a first. All you need is a lecure on history and forms of Drama.



Or, for that matter, our HOD's talks, where every second sentence ends with "...and all that...".

Sample this:

We have a great infrastructure... and all that.

Col. Dhavan will talk about Media and Defence... and all that.

We also have some cultural activities... and all that.

Now please go and have your lunch... and all that.




We intend to keep an "and all that" count, one of these days.



I made half a dozen friends. Half a dozen enemies. Already earned a nickname! Have already taken a panga with the cyber media faculty. He's prolly gonna hate me for the rest of the year. Maybe I oughtta buy him a Krishi Vikaas Patra or something. That should get him on my side.



I'd met a girl from Orissa at the Symbiosis interview. She was the only one in my group of 5 who got admitted to Symbi. She, after having paid her fees of 80,000 for the year at Symbi, quit the place. She's my classmate now. Not bad, huh?



My batch is quite a mix. We've got Oriyas, Mallus, Tams, plenty of Northies. And a truckload lots of Biharis. The Hindi Journo department has 25 Biharis out of a class of 40. There's a huge contingent from UP/Bihar.



Overall, an AWESOME week. This is gonna be one heckuvva year. Don't wanna miss a thing.



SUCK THE MARROW OUT OF LIFE, PEOPLE!!!