Friday, September 24, 2004

The day that was...

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Hear Ye! Hear Ye!



Ladies and Gents!



Step right up! And see for yourself!



The paradigm for journalistic nincompoopery!

The result of killer boredom!

The pioneer in news trivialisation and sensationalisation!

The breeding grounds of Yellow!

A product of empty minds!



(In short... a lab-generated Times of India!)



Brought to you by those who wish to be called The Jobless Writers...



*DRUMROLL*



*CYMBALS*







On a more serious note, the first volume was a huge hit, with people falling over each other to get their own copy of Dontlook. We wanted to keep our identities a secret. But damn! Everyone in the department knew only I could come up with such crap!



'M' and I are having a hard time convincing people that we didn't do it. Luckily, some of them brought it too! Muhahahaha!



Let's see what the faculties say about our insanity!



Edit, 1 day later: It has been brought to the attention of The Jobless Writers, that there's a certain Indian weekly magazine that looks and sounds a lot like Dontlook! Damn!



Arrgh! Time to call the lawyers and sue those mofos!

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

Doh!

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I realised. The hard way.



Do not... and I repeat DO NOT underestimate the power of stupid people inmates of girls hostel at IIMC in large numbers.



Especially if you had been making wisecracks about all of them.



Especially if one day, they ALL gang up agaisnt you, sick and tired of those wisecracks.



Edit at 11.30 PM: Have a good laugh here. No, it's not porn.

Monday, September 20, 2004

5000 and counting...

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5000 hits! Another excuse to blog a lousy, meaningless, gap-filler post!



I'd like to thank all the jobless and bored people of the world who had nothing better to do than to surf through the dark realms of the internet in search of God only knows what. For unnecessarily reading the crap that I put up on this page, even when I hardly ever asked them to. And for making me happy by keeping my counter ticking over.



To show my gratitute, I will pray to god that you do not die wondering what hit you and that your children also receive college education. And that you may have something useful to do with your lives so that you don't waste time reading this blog! Hihihi! Generous, aren't I?



That... when I have strong reasons to suspect that 4500 hits were my own. Hihihi!



Anyway... what do I care? Hey Gurdeep! Here's 5000 roubles for ya, son! Now run along and buy yourself some candy! Then log on to Ebay and use the rest of the money to buy yourself a clue.

Wednesday, September 15, 2004

Business, as usual

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So what have I been upto?



1) Lost my precious notebook in which I drew nasty caricatures of my professors.

2) Was a part of a contingent that successfully pissed off my Media Research faculty.

3) Drove college PYTs around on my new bike. Promised some more, for future rides.

4) Made myself unpopular among the guys for act # 3.

5) Told the guys.... 'Love me, hate me, but kindly spare me your indifference'.

6) Earned rep for being the 'computer expert' in my computer illeterate department.

7) Postponed 3 really dull assignments and now am running a week late.

8) Made a huge name for myself for my artworks.

9) Got elected Convenor for class maintenence. Also because nobody else stood for the post!

10) Cracked one short people joke too many on 'P'. Result: she intends to kill me sometime soon.

11) Cracked one body-odor joke too many on 'V'. Result: Ditto.

12) Cracked one tasteless wisecrack too many on the inmates of the girls hostel. Result: Ditto.

13) Cracked one thin people joke too many on 'J'. He looks depressed now.

13) Lived up to jouranlistic social responsibilities and made the world a better place to live in

14) Broke my glasses. Time to shift to contacts

15) Started entertaining insane, hyper-creative ideas again after a long, long lay off.

16) Confused more people with my surname and ethnicity.

17) Wallowed in memories of painful past.

18) Continued to not give a shit, better than ever!

Monday, September 13, 2004

Mera No. 1?

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The ad goes... "Number one... mera number one".



And people still drink it.

Sunday, September 12, 2004

Apni Dholki Baja Rela Hu!

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Alright... my blog... my rules. I can post what I want to, right?



Anyway, so I got this mail from Apexa, a junior at my grad college. Still reading it and laughing. It's one of those things that amuse you no end, and make your day.



So I will end up blowing my own trumpet... but what the hell! :P



Read on ...



To,

The founder of Prism,



Dear sir,



Hoping u r fit n healthy inspite of the JNU canteen food.



Its so good to hear from the person whos brainchild is PRISM.

The new copy is finally in our hands.n the designing guys have done a fab. job . aaaah how nice it feels to c ones name in the magazine. along with the pic..

J The only disappointing thing is that I haven't contributed ne article for this issue. (tho my name is allotted to 2 articles)



Welll, I have no idea whether sumbody told u this or not. but I thot u ought to know it . n hence this mail..



Hmmmm Saturday, the 11th, mala ma'ams lecture n we had prepared ourselves to bear the pains of all sorts of cost curves. but b4 the usual lash out. she wanted to tell us about this ex-student of SMPIC.(nething except economics was welcome so everybody paid attention to every word she said..) yea. n she told us bout a guy called HEMANT.

His dedication, the no. of hrs he spent for prism.n stuff like that. and may I add sir, that she read out the prism mail that u sent us..n she was all praises for u.. Forgive me for I shall not b able to quote the exact words she said as my memory is diminishing day by day.



for your info, our class is the most notorious one n already in her bad books. by giving ur example. she compared the type of students that we r (such an awful lot) n how we ought to be (just like you). HEMANT , who respected the institute n his professors; HEMANT, who worked for prism without ne expectation of reward; HEMANT, who was always down to earth;HEMANT, who was so courteous while giving suggestions; HEMANT, a student from whom the professors learnt a lot; HEMANT, who still hasn't

forgotten SMPIC; HEMANT, A STUDENT THEY ARE PROUD OF!!! Hats off to u!!! by the way, a Xerox copy of ur mail has been given to all the professors. so that they know that Hemant is still in touch, still remembers them, n still concerned for prism.



I wud like to thank you as well as those responsible for planting such a beautiful sapling.PRISM n man, am I glad that ive been given the responsibility to nourish it n take it to gr8 heights in spite of storms? u bet I am!!



Bless you,



Luv,

Apexa




Prism was the college magazine, which was started by a group of people from my batch. I edited it. It recently came out with its 4th issue recently. Earlier, some were of the opinion that it would sink once my batch passes out. That hasn't happened. Thankfully, it lives on.

Friday, September 10, 2004

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Snap out of it! *slaps himself on left cheek*

Snap out of it! *slaps himself on right cheek*

Snap out of it! *slaps himself on left cheek*

Snap out of it! *slaps himself on right cheek*

Snap out of it! *slaps himself on left cheek*

Snap out of it! *slaps himself on right cheek*