Saturday, December 01, 2007

"Where you want it?"

1 comments
The TVCs for the Indian Cricket League are a riot. I particularly loved the one on the Chennai Superstars. [Video below]



Then there are the Delhi Jets, Hyderabad Heroes, Kolkata Tigers, Chandigarh Lions and Mumbai Champs.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Jesus — I Will Survive

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Forgive, O Lord, my little jokes on Thee, and I'll forgive Thy great big joke on me.
— Robert Frost

Friday, November 23, 2007

The mother of all Orkut Gems

3 comments
From the Orkut profile of a female:
I AM ONE WHO WANT TO DRINK THE EVERY MOMENT OF THE LIFE..

AND WANT TO TOUCH THE THOSE WHICH ARE VERY HIGHT FROM ME..!

FOR ALL THIS I NEED MONEY WHICH I EARNING LOT..!

JOIN MY NETWORK AND EARN TOO MUCH WITH ME
There's more:
passions: ... SOME ONE SPICHAL..!
And more:
sports: NO I AM NOT INTRESTED IN SPORTS.. BECAUSE ALL THAT ARE THE WAISTING OF TIME..!
And more:
music: BEST STREET BOYS,
This doesn't end yet:
movies: I AM LOVING ALL BILLOYWOOD MOVIES
Via Vijayendra.

Thursday, November 08, 2007

The best music of 2007

2 comments



2007 is coming to an end. Thought I’d list the best songs I’ve heard this year. Note that these are songs/album I liked, not just songs which were released this year.

Songs
Sappy [video] by Nirvana. What I've Done [video] by Linkin Park.

Sappy, it turns out, dates back to 1987. But I hadn't heard it till recently.

Linkin Park's Minutes To Midnight was a digression from their last two albums, which were characterised by LP's style of building up the intensity to a point where the song explodes. That style was missing in this album. Needless to say I didn't like it as much as I liked Hybrid Theory and Meteora.

Albums
Life In A Metro, especially Alvida [video]. Metro is by far the most impresive OST I've heard in a long, long time.

Sliver by Nirvana. Some of these songs are so good, you wonder how they hadn't made it to any of Nirvana's studio albums.

People I'd like to listen to less
Shreya Ghosal and James [of Alvida] fame. Not because I dislike them, but because I liked them so much, I hope they are choosy about their work.

People I've tagged
Illuzon, Rachna, Vijayendra.

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

The male mind

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Me: Yaar, who’s that woman on your desk… with the curly hair and black glasses? I said ‘hi’ to her yesterday and then I realised I had forgotten her name.

S:The name’s XXXXXX YYYYY.

Me:Oh yeah. Forgot her name actually.

S:What about her?

Me: No No... I saw her at our XXX office yesterday and said hi and all. Then I realised I don’t remember her name. Which is kind of embarrassing.

S:It’s not... Imagine if she was a guy, and not very attractive at that, would you be embarrassed?

Me: Yes... it has happened very frequently.

S:Congratulations, you are a nice guy.

Me: Har har har.

S:(And a follower of the Bajrang Dal also!)

Me: ROTF LMBO!

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Erecting Qutub Minar in a day

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You can’t help but feel out of place when you’re interviewing a person in his capacity as the coach of a sports team when someone walks in with a letter stating the termination of his services.

It happened yesterday at the Karnail Singh Stadium where a Ranji game was in progress. The coach, who had played a Test for India in the '70s, was talking to me when he was brought his marching orders.

His team has struggled all through its existence. Last season, it finally had a player of some repute before that player was whisked away by a rebel league. And they’ve begun this season with a crushing defeat.

The coach cited his differences with selectors and the team captain and said, "Ek din mei in log Qutub banana chahte hai." (They want to erect Qutub Minar in a day) but added that perhaps, better sense will prevail and the association president will keep him in.

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Remember remember, the fifth of November...

1 comments
Today is the fifth of November.

I remember to remember the day because of that wonderful film, V For Vendetta. The film, based on the comic book, centres around a masked crusader called 'V', who takes on a totalitarian regime in England.

There's this scene [picture above] at the beginning of the movie where V blows up a prominent building in London on November 5. It marks the beginning of his war against the oppressive government.

V's reasoning: the building is a symbol; people make symbols powerful. And when a symbol becomes more powerful than people, the symbol must be gotten rid of.

As a kid, I remember wishing something tragic may happen to my school building so that I do not have to go there again. Today, it cracked me up thinking the same way about my office building. Not that I hate my work but there's something about huge buildings and whatever they pretend to stand for that sometimes gets my goat.

Coming back to the film, I've seen it six times already and I liked it more each time. If you value freedom of expression, if you think the we've had enough conflict over silly symbols, then it's a film you cannot miss.

Also read: Guy Fawkes and The Gunpowder Plot.

Friday, October 26, 2007

Celebrating Stupid Questions Week

5 comments
Surya: Who asked you so many questions?

Me: You've asked one.

Surya: What?

Me: That's your second stupid question?

Surya: Will you please tell me the first one?

Me: This is your third stupid question.

Surya: Pagal ho gaya hai kya?

Sent at 12:41 PM on Friday.

Me: Fourth.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Winter

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To an outsider, the cold in Delhi can be depressing. The body may not not adjust easily; 11 am becomes the new 6 am.

Everyday, the day threatens to start. Afternoons feel like mornings. Just when you think the sun would now shine full bloom, on comes darkness.

To quote Calvin, sometimes there just aren't enough hours in a day.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Trick question

6 comments
Two batsmen are on 94 not out each.

Three balls left in the match.

Seven runs to win.

Both finish on 100 not out.

How?

Monday, October 22, 2007

The hair apparent

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I was going through the stories and reports I'd filed in the past. I came across a report of a press conference last year in March, Mumbai.

Reading it today, I quite liked it. It was also the first and last time I met MS Dhoni, who was nonchalance personified even then.

Here's the full text of the report.
MS Dhoni's hair seems to have a celebrity status of its own now. Hence it wasn't surprising when more queries about his long locks than his cricket skills were posed at a press meet here on Thursday, where he was awarded the brand ambassadorship for a leading petrochemical firm.

However, the dashing keeper-bat replied to all those questions with trademark nonchalance. Momentarily, it seemed Javed Habib, and not a cricketer, was addressing the meet, forgetting that the city was hosting a Test match on Saturday.

Sample this.

Question: 'Mahendra, have you changed your hair colour?'

Dhoni's reply: Yes, I've changed it back to a darker shade of black. Holi khel nahi paya to socha ki baalon ke saath hi Holi khel lu. '

Audience: (Giggle giggle).

When someone had the humour to drag the topic back to cricket, Dhoni talked with great fondness for his stumping of Steve Harmison in the Mohali Test.

"Harmison is about 6'6", he said. "And so he blocks your vision especially when you're collecting the ball down the leg. That particular stumping was purely by anticipation and I was very happy with it."

When asked how he was preparing for the Mumbai game, Dhoni said, "I've not yet played a day game here. I was here for a one-dayer (against South Africa in November). The Mumbai track here is expected to turn and this would pose a challenge for me as a 'keeper. It would be a challenge keeping to Harbhajan Singh and Anil Kumble."

He played down all comparisons of him with Australian trailblazer Adam Gilchrist. "International cricket has its pressures but I'd like to play my game as Mahendra Singh Dhoni, not anyone else," he said.

And the news? Bharat Petroleum Corporation has signed Dhoni for two years. "For an undisclosed sum," Dhoni elaborated, dispatching another one back to where it came from.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

This is not a job application

1 comments
Vijayendra, who seems to have developed knack for sniffing out Orkut Gems, sends in another one. I'm yet to add anything more brilliant to this section than this one here:
Vide my earlier scraps, I proposed u for friendship, but till date
i received no response from ur gud side.
Now, i am again sending my proposal for making friendship with
you. If u want to do friendship with me, accept my proposal otherwise
respond please.
Hope for acceptance of the same.
V adds:
I am seriously concerned about what application-writing manuals are doing to Indian English.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Men Who Stare At Goats

1 comments
While reading Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion, I came across this memorable excerpt from the book titled above by Jon Ronson. I quote the bit verbatim:
This is a true story. It is the summer of 1983. Major General Albert Stubblebine III is sitting behind his desk in Arlington, Virginia, and he is staring at the wall, upon which hang his numerous military awards. They detail a long and distinguished career. He is the United States Army's chief of intelligence, with sixteen thousand soldiers under his command.

...

He looks past his awards to the wall itself. There is something he must do even though the thought of it frightens him. He thinks about the choice he has to make. He can stay in his office or he can go into the next office. That is his choice. And he has made it. He is going into the next office.

...

He stands up, moves out from behind his desk, and begins to walk. I mean, he thinks, what is the atom mostly made up of anyway? Space! He quickens his pace. What am I mostly made of? He thinks. Atoms! He is almost at a jog now. What is the wall mostly made up of? He thinks. Atoms! All I have to do is merge the spaces.

...

Then General Stubblebine bangs his nose hard on the wall of his office. Damn, he thinks. General Stubblebine is confounded by his continual failure to walk through his wall.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

After many tries...

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It seems all my attempts to be happier by recreating my younger days will all be futile.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Orkut Gems # ... lost count

1 comments
It's seems all I've got to post is Orkut Gems, but what can I do when generous people keep sending them to me. This one's from Rituparna 'Lajwanti Bahin' Dutta, who had nothing better to do than read third party scraps at 1 am. Here goes:
sanjay: yaa i m sanjay........studied from the same school in KV Coochbehar as u r.......its very..really fabulous n of course proudy to b a coochbehar resident to see u... in the TV set... i m currently in National institue of technology Durgapur.....studying Mechanical engineering....3rd year.....u r might be 2 year seniour....i think so...Orkut is really a great site...to meet anyone...special like u..........R u continuing ur stidies....with ur acting profession...?

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Sometimes, words fail me

2 comments
Will ever find Orkut Gems precious than these? I doubt it. Saw this in a profile today.

ideal match: my parents,

first thing you will notice about me: i love my parents , my sister ,my brother,n my sweet friends who loves me i love sweet dogy also

Friday, July 27, 2007

Heh

1 comments
I've ever seen that on an application form before.

I was applying online for a passport when I discovered this very interesting option.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

"i think u hide me"

3 comments
Vijayendra writes in:
This from a girl's scrapbook. A guy asked her mobile number and she said she doesn't have one. This is what the guy wrote back:
hi dear. u r telling me lie. u dont have mobile. i think u hide me. but trust me i never distrub u. if u have plz give me no. then as ur wise. bye take care.
Hihihi. But to the guy's credit, you can understand what he's trying to say.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Would you like them roasted, fried or steamed?

1 comments
The third edition of Orkut Gems. This is from a girl's profile I saw earlier today.
passions: to move ahead
sports: chess
activities: dancing nd painting
books: arabian night
music: sad nd romantic
tv shows: kaun banega crorepati
movies: ddlj
cuisines: amit nd nidhi

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Oooooooooooh...

1 comments
Give me a peek
Give me a peek
Give me a peek
Give me a peek
One time come come come come come.
One time come come come come come.
One time come come come come come.
One time come come come come come.

This completely makes my day!

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Tuesday, February 27, 2007

0 comments
They f*** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f***ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin in This Be The Verse

Monday, February 26, 2007

2 comments
Found this at the bottom of a mail.

"To do is to be" — Sartre
"To be is to do" — Kant
"Do be do be do" — Sinatra

Monday, February 19, 2007

Tele-marketing

4 comments
(Tring! Tring!)

Me: Hello?

Him Good morning, sir. I’m calling from [BLEEP] bank. I see you have a [BLEEP] account with us.

Me: That’s right.

Him On basis of that account, I’d like to offer you a personal loan of 75,000 rupees.

Me: Umm, no, I’m not really interested.

Him (Getting pushy) But this loan is exclusively for you sir;, you have to take it.

Me: Ok, tell me more.

Him Sir, all you have to do is give me some basic information about yourself, like your address, date of birth, monthly income...

Me: Fine, but I have a condition too.

Him Sir, what would that be?

Me: I want the 75,000 rupees to be delivered at my home.

Him Sir...

Me: In coins of 10 paise.

Him Err...

Me: In two black-coloured suitcases.

Him Sir, kyu mazaak kar rahe hai?

Me: Heh heh. Sir, aap hi ne to shuru kiya.

--------------------------------------------

This hasn’t actually happened yet. But I’m guessing that it soon would.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Orkut Gems — 2

4 comments
This keeps getting better all the time. Here's another gem from Orkut, adding to the first one.
aashique:
hello u r loking for true frd tats never hurts u
alwasys in a care of urs
if u thing that is true
so accept my request
If you've been receiving scraps like this one here, do post them here, unedited.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Time Wasting 101

5 comments
His G-Talk status message: God...where do I get the respite?

Me: For starters, you could stop asking God for respite, because there is none. :D

Him: Ha ha ha! Very good. So you are trying to take a dig at me? That’s really wonderful.

Me: No. I'm simply saying there is no god.

Him: How can you deny the existence of the almighty? What makes you think like that?

Me: The same reason which makes you think there is an almighty.

Him: I can't beat you in words it seems but I can't deny your proposition

Me: I do feel there are super beings out there somewhere else in the universe... but I strongly doubt if they are watching over us, which why I think that if there's no one watching over us, then there's no god.

Him: But that does show signs of belief in you, and that proves that your disbelief in almighty is a thrusted one.

Me: Like I said... "almighty" to me means someone who is super powerful and is controlling our lives, which gives it power. What I'm saying is, I dont think there’s anybody watching over us or controlling us. So, to me, whatever this entity is, it is certainly not almighty.

Him: Ok.

Him: Sounds difficult to believe but somehow I genuinely believe that those who do not believe in the almighty are the one who believe the most. :)

Me: Sir, you are entitled to feel that way, but from a non-believer's point of few, I can vouch for myself: I don’t believe in the concept of god.

Him: Look, what I feel is even when you say that you “don’t believe”, you still use the word ‘believe’ which gives us my inclination.

Me: The ‘believe’ goes with the ‘don’t’ and adds up to suggest a complete absence of belief.

Me: I could turn around the argument and say that when you say “I believe in god”, it’s the same as saying you’re really not sure if you do, because it’s just a belief, and is not based on empirical evidence.

Him: Well, a smart reply no doubt but when you say a flowing river, a blue sea that does not indicate that they are not there.

Me: But to the normal eyesight, the sea IS ACTUALLY blue, and the river IS REALLY flowing. There's evidence there.

(Some time passes by)

Me: Sir, kaha gaye aap?

Him: I am very much here and was mulling over your response.

Him: The word evidence has caught me off guard.

-------------------

PS: The person in question here is a batch-mate from journalism school, and was a fierce participant during elocution and debate competitions there.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Dacoity in the name of socialism

2 comments
The story goes something like this: In a village far, far away, a man wishes to start his own bakery. He knows he has the recipe for the best bread in town. So he saves and plans for years before he has enough money to start his business.

He finally sets up his shop, and starts making his bread. People love how it tastes; it's unlike anything they've ever tasted, and the bread has nutritious ingredients exclusive to this baker's recipe. Nobody knows what goes in the bread, but everyone knows it's good for health.

The baker is experiencing windfall. News about his recipe spreads. The King soon hears of it. He orders his men to bring him a sample. Upon tasting the bread, the King begins to think.

Soon after, the King's soldiers confiscate the bakery. The baker is summoned. The King says the baker can carry on with his business only if he produces the bread free of cost for him, reveals his secret recipe, and also deposits all his profits into the royal treasury.

The King also decides that the bread will be given away to the community so that everyone can get a taste of the nutritious bread, free of cost. The baker is helpless. He can't help but agree.

This story might sound familiar to those who've been following the battle over the rights to broadcast cricket matches in India.

Because now comes the news that Prasar Bharti will get a feed from private broadcasters, without advertisements, of events of national importance, starting February 8.

This is dacoity in the name of socialism. Private broadcasters (in this case, Nimbus) have bid millions of dollars to buy the rights to these games. Prasar Bharti hasn’t spent a paisa. Yet, because of this ordinance, not only will they get the deferred live feed, they can also get to mint money from advertisements.

Prasar Bharti will get only 25% of the advertisement revenue — the rest goes to Nimbus, and quite rightly too — but if this is being done in “national interest”, why wouldn’t the government give up 100% of their ad revenue?

I’m in favour of making cricket more accessible to the masses, but isn’t protecting individual rights in national interest too?

This is not a free country, believe it or not. With brotherpuckers like Priyaranjan Dasmunsi around, we’ll never know what it is to be self-respecting and free people.

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Because ideas are also reality-proof

0 comments
Have you ever being obsessed with an idea?

Not an ordinary idea, but one that might change your life, and perhaps, bring you more happiness, comfort and peace. And when you’re taken over by such an idea, you think about it all day, all night; you lose sleep, you lose perspective, you feel a distinct lack of motivation to carry on with life as it is, so much so that you want life to be in no other way than as you see it in that idea. And suddenly, you experience helplessness and the sadness that accompanies it.

It’s as refreshing as falling in love all over again.

Also read: That quote from the movie, V For Vendetta.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Orkut Gems — 1

5 comments
From now on, whenever I see a gem of a scrap on Orkut (like the one you can read below), I'm going to post it here.

Here's part one, from someone called 'apriya'.
what do u want to know about me I am cool person B.Com II year student
I am net suffreing in free time & cricket 4:56 AM
Notice the timestamp too.

Ummm, alright, alright. Let's not be judgemental of the poor bugger. But hilarious, no?

Monday, January 01, 2007

Happy New Year

6 comments
You scored as atheism. You are... an atheist, though you probably already knew this. Also, you probably have several people praying daily for your soul.

Instead of simply being "nonreligious," atheists strongly believe in the lack of existence of a higher being, or God.

atheism

92%

Buddhism

83%

agnosticism

79%

Satanism

67%

Paganism

38%

Judaism

17%

Islam

8%

Christianity

8%

Hinduism

4%

Which religion is the right one for you? (new version)
created with QuizFarm.com

While we're talking New Years and atheism, I must point you to Amit Varma's last post for 2006. Must read.