Tuesday, February 27, 2007

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They f*** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f***ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin in This Be The Verse

Monday, February 26, 2007

2 comments
Found this at the bottom of a mail.

"To do is to be" — Sartre
"To be is to do" — Kant
"Do be do be do" — Sinatra

Monday, February 19, 2007

Tele-marketing

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(Tring! Tring!)

Me: Hello?

Him Good morning, sir. I’m calling from [BLEEP] bank. I see you have a [BLEEP] account with us.

Me: That’s right.

Him On basis of that account, I’d like to offer you a personal loan of 75,000 rupees.

Me: Umm, no, I’m not really interested.

Him (Getting pushy) But this loan is exclusively for you sir;, you have to take it.

Me: Ok, tell me more.

Him Sir, all you have to do is give me some basic information about yourself, like your address, date of birth, monthly income...

Me: Fine, but I have a condition too.

Him Sir, what would that be?

Me: I want the 75,000 rupees to be delivered at my home.

Him Sir...

Me: In coins of 10 paise.

Him Err...

Me: In two black-coloured suitcases.

Him Sir, kyu mazaak kar rahe hai?

Me: Heh heh. Sir, aap hi ne to shuru kiya.

--------------------------------------------

This hasn’t actually happened yet. But I’m guessing that it soon would.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Orkut Gems — 2

4 comments
This keeps getting better all the time. Here's another gem from Orkut, adding to the first one.
aashique:
hello u r loking for true frd tats never hurts u
alwasys in a care of urs
if u thing that is true
so accept my request
If you've been receiving scraps like this one here, do post them here, unedited.

Saturday, February 03, 2007

Time Wasting 101

5 comments
His G-Talk status message: God...where do I get the respite?

Me: For starters, you could stop asking God for respite, because there is none. :D

Him: Ha ha ha! Very good. So you are trying to take a dig at me? That’s really wonderful.

Me: No. I'm simply saying there is no god.

Him: How can you deny the existence of the almighty? What makes you think like that?

Me: The same reason which makes you think there is an almighty.

Him: I can't beat you in words it seems but I can't deny your proposition

Me: I do feel there are super beings out there somewhere else in the universe... but I strongly doubt if they are watching over us, which why I think that if there's no one watching over us, then there's no god.

Him: But that does show signs of belief in you, and that proves that your disbelief in almighty is a thrusted one.

Me: Like I said... "almighty" to me means someone who is super powerful and is controlling our lives, which gives it power. What I'm saying is, I dont think there’s anybody watching over us or controlling us. So, to me, whatever this entity is, it is certainly not almighty.

Him: Ok.

Him: Sounds difficult to believe but somehow I genuinely believe that those who do not believe in the almighty are the one who believe the most. :)

Me: Sir, you are entitled to feel that way, but from a non-believer's point of few, I can vouch for myself: I don’t believe in the concept of god.

Him: Look, what I feel is even when you say that you “don’t believe”, you still use the word ‘believe’ which gives us my inclination.

Me: The ‘believe’ goes with the ‘don’t’ and adds up to suggest a complete absence of belief.

Me: I could turn around the argument and say that when you say “I believe in god”, it’s the same as saying you’re really not sure if you do, because it’s just a belief, and is not based on empirical evidence.

Him: Well, a smart reply no doubt but when you say a flowing river, a blue sea that does not indicate that they are not there.

Me: But to the normal eyesight, the sea IS ACTUALLY blue, and the river IS REALLY flowing. There's evidence there.

(Some time passes by)

Me: Sir, kaha gaye aap?

Him: I am very much here and was mulling over your response.

Him: The word evidence has caught me off guard.

-------------------

PS: The person in question here is a batch-mate from journalism school, and was a fierce participant during elocution and debate competitions there.

Friday, February 02, 2007

Dacoity in the name of socialism

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The story goes something like this: In a village far, far away, a man wishes to start his own bakery. He knows he has the recipe for the best bread in town. So he saves and plans for years before he has enough money to start his business.

He finally sets up his shop, and starts making his bread. People love how it tastes; it's unlike anything they've ever tasted, and the bread has nutritious ingredients exclusive to this baker's recipe. Nobody knows what goes in the bread, but everyone knows it's good for health.

The baker is experiencing windfall. News about his recipe spreads. The King soon hears of it. He orders his men to bring him a sample. Upon tasting the bread, the King begins to think.

Soon after, the King's soldiers confiscate the bakery. The baker is summoned. The King says the baker can carry on with his business only if he produces the bread free of cost for him, reveals his secret recipe, and also deposits all his profits into the royal treasury.

The King also decides that the bread will be given away to the community so that everyone can get a taste of the nutritious bread, free of cost. The baker is helpless. He can't help but agree.

This story might sound familiar to those who've been following the battle over the rights to broadcast cricket matches in India.

Because now comes the news that Prasar Bharti will get a feed from private broadcasters, without advertisements, of events of national importance, starting February 8.

This is dacoity in the name of socialism. Private broadcasters (in this case, Nimbus) have bid millions of dollars to buy the rights to these games. Prasar Bharti hasn’t spent a paisa. Yet, because of this ordinance, not only will they get the deferred live feed, they can also get to mint money from advertisements.

Prasar Bharti will get only 25% of the advertisement revenue — the rest goes to Nimbus, and quite rightly too — but if this is being done in “national interest”, why wouldn’t the government give up 100% of their ad revenue?

I’m in favour of making cricket more accessible to the masses, but isn’t protecting individual rights in national interest too?

This is not a free country, believe it or not. With brotherpuckers like Priyaranjan Dasmunsi around, we’ll never know what it is to be self-respecting and free people.