Singh Along - Hotel Karnal-a-fonia

On the dark GT highway

Pagdi Patka in my hair

Warm smell of some dhabas

Rising up through the air



Up ahead in the distance

I saw a tharra joint

My head grew heavy

And my sight grew dim

I must have drunk over a pint



There he stood in the drive way

I heard his truck helper yell

And I was thinking to myself

This had to be

Devidner Singh Behl (ROTF LMBO)



Then he belched and scratched his head

And he was on the highway

And the other drivers leaning

from the truck car doors

I thought I heard them say



Welcome to the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia

Vaddi changi place

(Vaddi changi place)

Message, manicure, pedicure

At Karnal-a-fonia

Any kind of ear

(Any kind of ear)

You can clean it here



His car grill was definitely twisted

He's got a Maruti Zen

He's got a lot of petty petty MLAs

Whom he calls friends



Dancing bhangra in the courtyard

See sardarji sweat

Some dancer is this Devinder

Armpits stinking wet



So I told the bell captain

I's made a reservation online

And he said 'Oye khoteyya...

Our internet hasn't worked... since 1999'



And still those srivers were calling

From the driveway

Woke me up in the middle of the night

I know I heard them say



Welcome to the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia

Itthey karlo rest

(Itthey karlo rest)

Aish karo at the Hotel Karnal-a-fonia

Kudi umr bees

(Kudi umr bees)

Will serve you nice



Daler on the ceiling and on the walls

In every guise

And waitresses dressed like actresses,

From flicks of Subhash Ghai's.

And in the downstair canteen

I sat down for my meal

Butter chicken and sarson da saag

Had a shock when they showed me the bill



Looking for help I saw Devinder

Dancing wildly on the floor

I had to find my hostess back

Oh where is this Gurpreet Kaur?



'Relax' said Milkha Singh

Play golf with my son Jeev

Tu ban gaya Punjab da puttar

Now you can't ever leave



(JAM Mag, March 14)