Friday, October 26, 2007

Celebrating Stupid Questions Week

Surya: Who asked you so many questions?

Me: You've asked one.

Surya: What?

Me: That's your second stupid question?

Surya: Will you please tell me the first one?

Me: This is your third stupid question.

Surya: Pagal ho gaya hai kya?

Sent at 12:41 PM on Friday.

Me: Fourth.

Thursday, October 25, 2007


To an outsider, the cold in Delhi can be depressing. The body may not not adjust easily; 11 am becomes the new 6 am.

Everyday, the day threatens to start. Afternoons feel like mornings. Just when you think the sun would now shine full bloom, on comes darkness.

To quote Calvin, sometimes there just aren't enough hours in a day.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Trick question

Two batsmen are on 94 not out each.

Three balls left in the match.

Seven runs to win.

Both finish on 100 not out.


Monday, October 22, 2007

The hair apparent

I was going through the stories and reports I'd filed in the past. I came across a report of a press conference last year in March, Mumbai.

Reading it today, I quite liked it. It was also the first and last time I met MS Dhoni, who was nonchalance personified even then.

Here's the full text of the report.
MS Dhoni's hair seems to have a celebrity status of its own now. Hence it wasn't surprising when more queries about his long locks than his cricket skills were posed at a press meet here on Thursday, where he was awarded the brand ambassadorship for a leading petrochemical firm.

However, the dashing keeper-bat replied to all those questions with trademark nonchalance. Momentarily, it seemed Javed Habib, and not a cricketer, was addressing the meet, forgetting that the city was hosting a Test match on Saturday.

Sample this.

Question: 'Mahendra, have you changed your hair colour?'

Dhoni's reply: Yes, I've changed it back to a darker shade of black. Holi khel nahi paya to socha ki baalon ke saath hi Holi khel lu. '

Audience: (Giggle giggle).

When someone had the humour to drag the topic back to cricket, Dhoni talked with great fondness for his stumping of Steve Harmison in the Mohali Test.

"Harmison is about 6'6", he said. "And so he blocks your vision especially when you're collecting the ball down the leg. That particular stumping was purely by anticipation and I was very happy with it."

When asked how he was preparing for the Mumbai game, Dhoni said, "I've not yet played a day game here. I was here for a one-dayer (against South Africa in November). The Mumbai track here is expected to turn and this would pose a challenge for me as a 'keeper. It would be a challenge keeping to Harbhajan Singh and Anil Kumble."

He played down all comparisons of him with Australian trailblazer Adam Gilchrist. "International cricket has its pressures but I'd like to play my game as Mahendra Singh Dhoni, not anyone else," he said.

And the news? Bharat Petroleum Corporation has signed Dhoni for two years. "For an undisclosed sum," Dhoni elaborated, dispatching another one back to where it came from.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

This is not a job application

Vijayendra, who seems to have developed knack for sniffing out Orkut Gems, sends in another one. I'm yet to add anything more brilliant to this section than this one here:
Vide my earlier scraps, I proposed u for friendship, but till date
i received no response from ur gud side.
Now, i am again sending my proposal for making friendship with
you. If u want to do friendship with me, accept my proposal otherwise
respond please.
Hope for acceptance of the same.
V adds:
I am seriously concerned about what application-writing manuals are doing to Indian English.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Men Who Stare At Goats

While reading Richard Dawkins' The God Delusion, I came across this memorable excerpt from the book titled above by Jon Ronson. I quote the bit verbatim:
This is a true story. It is the summer of 1983. Major General Albert Stubblebine III is sitting behind his desk in Arlington, Virginia, and he is staring at the wall, upon which hang his numerous military awards. They detail a long and distinguished career. He is the United States Army's chief of intelligence, with sixteen thousand soldiers under his command.


He looks past his awards to the wall itself. There is something he must do even though the thought of it frightens him. He thinks about the choice he has to make. He can stay in his office or he can go into the next office. That is his choice. And he has made it. He is going into the next office.


He stands up, moves out from behind his desk, and begins to walk. I mean, he thinks, what is the atom mostly made up of anyway? Space! He quickens his pace. What am I mostly made of? He thinks. Atoms! He is almost at a jog now. What is the wall mostly made up of? He thinks. Atoms! All I have to do is merge the spaces.


Then General Stubblebine bangs his nose hard on the wall of his office. Damn, he thinks. General Stubblebine is confounded by his continual failure to walk through his wall.

Thursday, October 11, 2007

After many tries...

It seems all my attempts to be happier by recreating my younger days will all be futile.