Tuesday, June 30, 2009

My First Strand of Gray Hair


My Xth CBSE Hindi syllabus had this chapter about a middle-aged man expressing his bittersweet feelings after he noticed the first gray strand on his scalp.

His feelings got my goat. I was 15, and had already begun graying.

My first gray strand appeared when I was 14. The second didn’t take too long after that.

At the peak of my hormonal pandemonium, just when I was supposed to experience the highs of youth, I was dealing with my first sign of aging.

I don’t know — it was probably the hard water. Or my diet. Or maybe that I think too much. Way too much.

By 18, it was a full-blown epidemic. The temples, the scalp, the back of the head — the grays were gaining ground.

I might have been 19 when I had my grays coloured black — something I resorted to, once in a while.

What made matters worse that my hairline receded too. From worrying about premature graying, now I was thankful to have hair at all.

After college, I was admitted to a journalism school. Before I joined, I thought it’d be best to get my hair coloured to look my best for the first day.

A month after a joined, when the colour faded away, I realised half the class was gray.

That’s when I knew I was at the right place. And I never worried about my grays since.

Friday, June 26, 2009

What is the difference between Hamas and Hummus?


Just in case you’ve been confused like I was.

What are they?

Hamas: an acronym for Harakat al-Muqāwamat al-Islāmiyyah, meaning Islamic Resistance Movement.

Hummus: a spread made from minced chickpeas, seasame, lemon juice, salt, garlic and spices.

What is their origin?

Hamas: created in 1987 by a group of Palestinians to kick Jewish ass.

Hummus: has its origins in midieval or even ancient Middle East, though it’s not clear where or when.

What do they go well with?

Hamas: Islamist imperialism, Israel-bombing, Jew-hating, America-hating, terror-mongering, Gaza-capturing.

Hummus: bread, hard-boiled eggs, falafal, chips, crackers, salads and if your name is Zohan, you eat spoonfuls of it for no particular reason.

Who loves them?

Hamas: Arabs back them. Jews hate them. Canada and the US hate them. Even the Norwegians and Japs hate them.

Hummus: Jews love it. Arabs love it. Africans love it. Asians love it.

What do they look like?



No prizes for guessing which one I would prefer.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Regulating the Indian media


I have just one thing to say to those people who want the government to regulate the media: please throw away your cable connection and promise to watch Doordarshan for the rest of your life.