(I had the misfortune of seeing this film earlier this month and it is my considered opinion that it may be impossible for Farhan Akhtar to make a worse film than this.)
Probability of the first girl you hit on having travelled half-way through the world being Indian: 100%
Probability of the first girl you hit on having travelled half-way through the world being Indian and coincidentally also your deep sea diving instructor: 100%
Number of days typically needed to learn deep sea diving: 4-6
Number of days Imraan, Kabir and Arjun needed to learn it: 1
Number of dares in their childhood pact that Imraan, Arjun and Kabir could have completed in India and saved themselves a lot of money: 3
Career tally of Hrithik's horribly awkward on-screen kisses: 2
Number of explanations offered for how Arjun got a replacement simcard in a foreign country: 0
Number of expressions enacted by Katrina in the whole film: 1
I saw Slumdog Millionaire for the first time a couple of weeks before it hit the Indian theatres. My wife had managed to get a downloaded copy from her office. As we watched it on our laptop, I was blown away by the first 15 minutes. I said, let's watch this on the big screen, it'd be totally worth it. She argued that the India release was still a long way away, so we continued watching.
Last weekend, we saw it on the big screen the day it hit India. Our schedule allowed us to watch the dubbed version, and we settled for it. It still was pretty good since much of the dialogue is in Hindi anyway.
My frank assessment of the film: it's very good. Rich cinematography, beautifully paced, well directed, well acted. Dev Patel and the kids were fantastic and AR Rahman's score is of the rare kind that lifts the overall quality of a picture. Hans Zimmer's score for The Dark Knight is another example. If anybody deserves an award for Slumdog, Rahman does. Anil Kapoor was a bit loud - in the film and at the Golden Globes. Reports also say he has developed a clipped accent overnight.
There was a matter-of-factness in the narration. It was authoritative story telling, the kind that respects a viewer's time and intelligence. I find that missing from Indian movies, where the emphasis is not on story-telling but on star actors.
But is the film worth the hype? I don't think so. Would I put it on my Films To Watch Before You Die list? No.
Another thing I don't understand is why some Indians choose to rubbish the film as a westerner's take on Indian poverty. The last time I checked, the story was a perfectly Indian one. Danny Boyle's team only made a film out of it, and a pretty good one at that. I'd endorse it whole-heartedly.
Jai Ho!
I looked around for the lyrics to Slumdog Millionaire's soundtrack and I was appalled by the search results. So I asked the wife to help me transcribe the lyrics to Jai Ho. We obviously couldn't understand the bits in the foreign languages so we left them out. Here are the lyrics. If you spot mistakes, please leave a comment. I'll update this with a credit line.
Jai ho! [x4]
Aaja aaja jind-e-shamiyaane ke tale Aaja zari wale nile aasmaan ke tale
Jai ho [x2]
Aaja aaja jind-e-shamiyaane ke tale Aaja zari wale nile aasmaan ke tale
Jai ho [x2]
Jai ho [x8]
Ratti ratti sacchi maine jaan gawaai hai Nach nach koylo pe raat bitaai hai
Akhiyo ki neend maine phookho se uda di Gin gin taare maine ungli jalaayi hai
Aaja aaja jind-e-shamiyaane ke tale Aaja zari wale nile aasmaan ke tale
Jai ho [x4]
Jai ho [x8]
Chakh le, haan chakh le Yeh raat shahad hai
Chakh le Rakh le Aa dil hai, dil aakhri hadd hai
Rakh le, kaala kaala kaajal tera Koi kaala jaadu hai na
Kaala kaala kaajal tera Koi kaala jaadu hai na
Aaja aaja jind-e-shamiyaane ke tale Aaja zari wale nile aasmaan ke tale
Jai ho [x2]
Jai ho [x5]
Kab se, haan kab se Jo lab pe ruki hai
Keh de Keh de Haan keh de, ab aankh jhuki hai
Keh de, aisi aisi roshan aankhein Roshan dono heerein hain kya?
Aaja aaja jind-e-shamiyaane ke tale Aaja zari wale nile aasmaan ke tale
Jai ho [x8]
In Hindi
जय हो! [x ४]
आजा आजा जिंद-ऐ-शामिआने के तले आजा ज़री वाले नीले आसमां के तले
जय हो! [x २]
आजा आजा जिंद-ऐ-शामिआने के तले आजा ज़री वाले नीले आसमां के तले
जय हो! [x 8]
रत्ती रत्ती सच्ची मैंने जान गवाईं है नच नच कोयलों पे रात बिताई है
अंखियों की नींद मैंने फूकों से उड़ा दी गिन गिन तारे मैंने उंगलियाँ जलायीं हैं
आजा आजा जिंद-ऐ-शामिआने के तले आजा ज़री वाले नीले आसमां के तले
जय हो! [x 4]
जय हो! [x 8]
चख ले, हाँ चख ले यह रात शहद है
चख ले, रख ले आ दिल है, दिल आखरी हद है
रख ले, काला काला काजल तेरा कोई काला जादू है ना
काला काला काजल तेरा कोई काला जादू है ना
आजा आजा जिंद-ऐ-शामिआने के तले आजा ज़री वाले नीले आसमां के तले
जय हो! [x 2]
जय हो! [x 5]
कब से, हाँ कब से जो लब पे रुकी है
कह दे, कह दे हाँ कह दे, अब आँख झुकी है
कह दे, ऐसी ऐसी रोशन आँखें रोशन दोनों हीरें हैं क्या?
आजा आजा जिंद-ऐ-शामिआने के तले आजा ज़री वाले नीले आसमां के तले
On Google, I looked up the title of the film, Pyaasi Raat, and found this article on Passionforcinema:
for fuck’s sake this was shot on FILM……it went to the processing lab and they even fucking edited this……..there was a singer….someone wrote it….someone sung it…there was a studio booked for this……someone held a crew at ransom to shoot this….how the hell did anyone pull this off……i soooo want to watch the entire film…….HOW CAN I FIND IT?
The Hitchhiker's Guide to Galaxy says the second worst poetry in the universe is by Azgoths of Kria. It's so bad that:
...during a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning four of his audience died of internal haemmorhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off.
Grunthos is reported to have been 'disappointed' by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilisation, leap straight up through his neck and throttle his brain.
And why am I talking about The Guide? What you're about to see here might just make your intestine make an attempt on your life.
There will be some of you reading this from your offices where Youtube is blocked, so you will see an empty white space above this.
You can see the video on a proxy website. Just paste this link at any of these websites: 1, 2, 3, 4.
Update: A colleague asked me why I was searching Pyaasi Raat on Google. In my defense, I have to say that I decided to search for details of the film after I read its name in one of the comments on the video. I'm innocent. I don't even have two gigabytes of porn on my laptop. God promise!
I have a new favourite song. It is titled Pichle Saat Dinon Mein, and it's from the film Rock On!!
Don't blame me for those ugly exclamation marks; that's how the film was named.
Anyway, here's the uber-cool music video.
And here are the lyrics. Sing along!
Meri laundry ka ek bill Ek aadhi padhi novel
[Chorus]
Ek ladki ka phone number Mere kaam ka ek paper
[Chorus]
Mere taash se heart ka king Mera ek chandi ka ring Pichle saat dinon mein maine khoya
Kabhi khud pe hasa mai or Kabhi khud pe roya
[Chorus x2]
Present mili ek ghadi Pyaari thi mujhe badi
[Chorus]
Meri jeb Mary Jane ka ek packet* Meri denim ki jacket
Do one-day match ke passes Mere naye sunglasses Pichle saat dinon mein maine khoya
Kabhi khud pe hasa mai or Kabhi khud pe roya
[Guitar solo]
Kaise bhooloon saatvaan jo din aaya Kisi ne tumse ek party mei milwaya Kaisa pal tha jis pal maine tumko pehli baar dekha tha
Hum jo mile pehli baar Maine jaana kya hai pyaar Maine hosh bhi khoya, dil bhi khoya
Kabhi khud pe hasa mai or Kabhi khud pe roya
[Chorus x2]
Maine pichle saat dinon mei yeh sab hai khoya
I saw the film this weekend and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Farhaan Akhtar may not cut it as a singer but his vocals work in the context of the story, which is about an amateur rock band called Magik.
I remember to remember the day because of that wonderful film, V For Vendetta. The film, based on the comic book, centres around a masked crusader called 'V', who takes on a totalitarian regime in England.
There's this scene [picture above] at the beginning of the movie where V blows up a prominent building in London on November 5. It marks the beginning of his war against the oppressive government.
V's reasoning: the building is a symbol; people make symbols powerful. And when a symbol becomes more powerful than people, the symbol must be gotten rid of.
As a kid, I remember wishing something tragic may happen to my school building so that I do not have to go there again. Today, it cracked me up thinking the same way about my office building. Not that I hate my work but there's something about huge buildings and whatever they pretend to stand for that sometimes gets my goat.
Coming back to the film, I've seen it six times already and I liked it more each time. If you value freedom of expression, if you think the we've had enough conflict over silly symbols, then it's a film you cannot miss.
Today is the fifth of November. 