They f*** you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were f***ed up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

Philip Larkin in This Be The Verse

Found this at the bottom of a mail.

"To do is to be" — Sartre
"To be is to do" — Kant
"Do be do be do" — Sinatra

Tele-marketing

(Tring! Tring!)

Me: Hello?

Him Good morning, sir. I’m calling from [BLEEP] bank. I see you have a [BLEEP] account with us.

Me: That’s right.

Him On basis of that account, I’d like to offer you a personal loan of 75,000 rupees.

Me: Umm, no, I’m not really interested.

Him (Getting pushy) But this loan is exclusively for you sir;, you have to take it.

Me: Ok, tell me more.

Him Sir, all you have to do is give me some basic information about yourself, like your address, date of birth, monthly income...

Me: Fine, but I have a condition too.

Him Sir, what would that be?

Me: I want the 75,000 rupees to be delivered at my home.

Him Sir...

Me: In coins of 10 paise.

Him Err...

Me: In two black-coloured suitcases.

Him Sir, kyu mazaak kar rahe hai?

Me: Heh heh. Sir, aap hi ne to shuru kiya.

--------------------------------------------

This hasn’t actually happened yet. But I’m guessing that it soon would.

Orkut Gems — 2

This keeps getting better all the time. Here's another gem from Orkut, adding to the first one.

aashique:
hello u r loking for true frd tats never hurts u
alwasys in a care of urs
if u thing that is true
so accept my request

If you've been receiving scraps like this one here, do post them here, unedited.

What's up?