Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Let me count the ways I love thee

If I were the Devil and possessed the souls of Sify executives, I would...

1) Keep them in hell for 2000 years where every year lasted a 1000 days

2) Shove giant sized pineapples up their asses, 3 times a day

3) Boil them in a giant pot full of their own crap

4) Lock them in a room for a 1000 years, and ask them to surf the net on a PC that crashes every 2 minutes

4) Condemn them to download 1 Gigabyte worth of shareware off the net, on a connection that goes at 1 byte per day

5) Throw them in a jungle full of sexually starved gorillas

6) Use them as bait to fish for great white sharks

7) Condemn them to co-exist with 10 feet tall, blood-sucking, man eating hairy tarantulas for 1000 years

8) Convert them into statues at public places and send a million pigeons to visit them every day

9) Give them 2000 consecutive incarnations as fire hydrants in canine hell

10) Constantly break their heart and torment them by giving ghouslish sermons on how the internet really was a hoax

11) Have them bathed in boiling oil twice for everytime a Sify user cursed Sify for its services

12) Put them on an island full of the most beautiful and voluptuous women ever and then castrate them

13) To go with # 12, cut off their hands too! Aaaaahahahahaha!

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